Life and Death

Today is one of those odd days. It's my brother's birthday. It's the day my dad died (despite intentionally putting his date of death as the seventh on his tombstone). All in all it is one of those days that make you think.
I did a pretty decent job of avoiding that today.  I do a pretty decent job of avoiding it every year since I've moved away from McConnelsville.  The new thing this year is that I actually remembered to call my brother and wish him happy birthday.

I was young when Dad died.  Eight years old to be precise.  Most of those eight years my dad drank, and not just a little.  I can't recall seeing him without a can of Pabst or Old Milwaukee in his hand. He quit drinking about three months before he died.
I can't honestly say why he quit.  His health probably had a lot to do with it.  I hope that my brother and I had something to do with it too.  I like to think that he realized that he was losing time with us and that he wanted to be around for us.

I was at play practice at the church when mom came by and told me.  I'm sure I cried, but I don't remember actually doing it.  I was told that I could leave early if I wanted.  I remember that I didn't.  I stuck it out til the end of practice.
Kids' Praise 3: Funtastic Family was the play of the season.  I had just a bit part, Jenny was the character's name I think.  She had family in Sweden and her solo line was in Swedish.  Funny how those sorts of things stick with you through the years.
Now that I think about it, there's a certain amount of irony in the play was meant to teach about the family of God when I lost a member of my family.  I don't remember them really being there for us.  Maybe it was just that they didn't know my dad that well.  I'm relatively certain he was Agnostic, but more likely he was an Atheist.

I remember getting a basket of flowers from my third grade class.  I find it more likely that the teacher bought them and signed them as from the class.  A kind gesture, but it seems hollow - I was one of the least liked children in the class.  Oh, I got on well enough with the teachers.  I could relate to them.  I had problems relating to people my own age.


All in all, I know I have issues, and my dad is a big part of them.  Whether it was from before he died or as a result of his death.  In all reality it was probably from both.


Happy Birthday my dear brother.
I miss you Dad.

Better Late Than Never

It wasn't a New Year's Resolution, or anything even vaguely resembling one, but I did decide that I wanted to get back to writing more often.  I figured a blog would be a perfect place to do that.  I could get near instant feedback from my friends and strangers.
I can assure you that this blog will not be all fluff and glitter.  My "youthful" writings always had a darker feel to them.  I assume that will be the case with my "mature" writings.  Of course, I will more than likely have more than a handful of articles pertaining to the real world.
For now, gentle reader, you will have to content yourself with these few paragraphs.  It is time to sleep.  I picked what is surely an unreasonable hour to start this adventure, but I assure you, it will be an adventure.
Until next we meet (and until google implements a spellcheck, damn them!),